Just smile and say you’re okay, nobody really cares anyways..

I feel stupid and useless and nothing but weak, standing in crowds, makes me not want to speak. I wonder what people think when they take sight of me, am I just some girl they think is a freak? Im broken and frayed, no one wants me, Im just the girl they dont want to be. I feel fat and ugly and just like a joke, but that doesnt stop the poke after poke. People keep pushing me, down, down, down, down. Now I feel like I’m under the ground. Struggling now, with fear in my eyes, hoping no one sees me whip the tears that I cry. You’ll never understand the pain you put me through, after all I wanted was just to be with you. Giving and praying this would work out, I honestly didnt have a single doubt. Things seemed fantastic perfect and all, and the next thing I knew I was about to fall. Deeper this time then the last, my heart cant take all this and my past. Im laying here hopelessly looking for a way out, but all I do is sit here and pout. I need to keep smiling whatever I do, sitting here moaning wont help me through. Its up to me now, to get myself out, of this deep dark hole that seems like a dought. On the outsise Im happy. No one would guess, that my heart has been ripped right from my chest.